“You need a Forest Mulcher Guy.”

I heard this from both the Professional Forester and the USDA District Conservationist. As I didn’t know any Forest Mulcher Guys, I asked the District Conservationist if he knew any.

“No, but a lot of people just rent the Forest Mulcher and then do the mulching themselves.”

“I understand, but I imagine that these people actually know what they’re doing with a Forest Mulcher. I have no clue.”

A Forest Mulcher, as I learned, is a mass of spinning, carbide steel tips, that pretty much explode anything in its’ path. It takes brush, fallen limbs, and trees and breaks them into “mulch”, returning the mulch to the ground. It easily takes down trees (undesired trees) up to 12 inches in diameter, and with some effort, can take down even larger trees.

The mulcher can be mounted on any tractor-like vehicle, but they seem to work the best when mounted on a “Skid Steer”. A Skid Steer is a small tractor with wide caterpillar treads. It gets terrific traction on muddy earth. With its’ enclosed, protected, air-conditioned cab, the operator is not bothered much by:

• Rainy weather
• Insects
• Heat
• Cold
• Flying debris (of which there is quite a bit whenever the Forest Mulcher is in action.)

In my hands, a Forest Mulcher would be a highly dangerous, industrial strength menace to the forest. In the hands of a skilled Forest Mulcher Guy, this machine could clear more brush in an hour than I could clear by hand in a year.

I really needed a Forest Mulcher Guy if I expected to meet success with my new plan.

“Why don’t you check with your Professional Forester?” asked the District Conservationist.

That seemed like a good idea, so I called him.

“Yes, there’s a guy I’ve worked with who owns his own Forest Mulcher and lives not too far from you. I don’t know what he charges, but you could ask him.”

The Forest Mulcher Guy was easy to deal with. Very pleasant over the phone, he suggested he bring his Caterpillar Skid Steer Mulcher over to the forest some day, do a couple hours of mulching, and then I could decide whether I wanted him to do more.

The deal was done.