Keith Wilson
“We have no rules”, “we encourage you to think for yourself”, and “we have no hierarchy”: these were among the most strident of the siren songs that drew me to the Quaker faith. Sadly, I’ve come to see all three as delusions. What’s the fourth delusion? It’s believing the first three aren’t delusions! As always, dear Friends, I encourage you to think it possible I may be wrong but, before you decide, please read a little further.
We have no rules. But see what happens if you speak in business meeting without waiting to be called, you accept an invitation from meeting to go on a course at Woodbrooke but don’t notify the meeting’s budget holder (because you didn’t know there was one) or, as an attender, you decide to go to business meeting without the clerk’s permission. I’ve done all of these and, of course, I’ve been shown the error of my ways. Trivial? Maybe – but each occasion was very uncomfortable for me and, even now, I never speak in business meeting in case I’m ‘not in right ordering’. Please don’t tell me we have no rules. Just because we don’t write our rules down and tell people about them doesn’t mean they don’t exist!
We encourage you to think for yourself. For me, one of the glories of Quakerism is that we are free to think for ourselves about the big things like whether we adopt a theist or a non-theist stance.
But we must never think we might like a ham sandwich at shared lunch! We have a vegetarian kitchen and our thoughts about what we might prefer to eat are irrelevant. We can think for ourselves about how we worship, but we can’t be trusted to decide on the content of our sandwiches!
We have no hierarchy. Yet it would be hard to deny that there are some Friends in meeting whose opinions carry more weight than those of others. I’m not saying this shouldn’t be so: many of our most respected Friends have earned their status through their dedication to and efforts on behalf of the meeting, but let’s not deceive ourselves by pretending that their elevated status doesn’t exist. We may not have a formal hierarchy, but that’s not the same as no hierarchy.
In truth, rules, restrictions, and hierarchies are inescapable wherever humans come together and, although it’s sometimes easy to forget, Quakers are only human. With that in mind, my plea is that rather than attempting the futile task of eliminating our delusions, let’s acknowledge them and act accordingly. Let’s make our rules more apparent and, if they’re broken, resolve the issue with sensitivity and tact. Let’s not be unnecessarily restrictive on thoughts and actions, especially in minor matters like who eats what and when. And, dear Friend, if you are one of those ’weighty’ Quakers who have so much power in meeting, please exercise that power thoughtfully and with a tender hand.
More articles in this month’s newsletter:
- May 2022
- Reflections during a zoom meeting 3 April
- Meeting for Worship 24 April
- The politics of place – and some local witnessing
- Monthly Appeal May 2022
- ‘Friendly Persuasion’
- Mutual Support Group – ‘Getting Older’
- Four Delusions and a Plea
- Note From the Gardening Team
- Britain Yearly Meeting is Seeking a Youth, Children, and Families Development Worker
- Waiting
- Living in the Spirit
- In Penn’s Shadow (1680-1720) – Philadelphia: The Great Experiment
- Addressing Environmental Issues as a Spiritual Community
- The Quakers: The Whites that helped the slavery abolishment
- Community Noticeboard Online, May 2022
- From Quaker Faith and Practice 24.21
- Meetings for Worship May 2022
Back to May 2022 Newsletter Main Page
Forty-Three Newsletter • Number 517 • May 2022
Oxford Friends Meeting
43 St Giles, Oxford OX1 3LW
Copyright 2022, Oxford Quakers
