Keith Wilson
Can it ever be acceptable to be self-centred?
On my mother’s twentieth birthday in 1940 she was given a little book, Daily Light on the Daily Path. As you may know, this contains daily readings made up of biblical extracts selected by Samuel Bagster and his family in the 1870s. Remarkably, it’s still in print. Some years ago, I rediscovered my mother’s copy and I’ve read it daily ever since.
What does this have to do with being self-centred? Simply that I’ve started to realise that a strong and persistent theme of the readings is that I should give up worldly pleasure and indulgence so that I can store up treasures for the life that is to come. I struggle with this on several levels.
The first is that I’m agnostic about ‘the life that is to come’, so this particular offer of jam tomorrow has limited appeal. More important is that I have a strong belief in a loving God (please feel free to use alternative terminology if you wish) and I can’t bring myself to understand why a loving God would want us to eschew pleasure, and indeed indulgence, in the wonderful life that’s been given to us.
All of this came into sharp focus two years ago when, at the age of 70, I was offered the opportunity to study for a PhD at the University of Birmingham. The opportunity came as a complete surprise – I considered myself far too old and far too underqualified to be accepted but, thanks in no small part to the incredible support I received from several Friends, I was.
I was delighted, but my delight was alloyed with concern. For me, studying for a PhD is pure indulgence. It’s not a step on my career path and it’s hard to see how I’ll be able to put my new qualification – should I get it – to practical use. Also, it’s no trivial undertaking. It impacts my life and the lives of those around me, particularly Kath, my wife.
Studying costs money that could be spent, for example, on home improvements and holidays. It also absorbs time – a lot of time – that I might otherwise have devoted to promoting and supporting Quaker activities. Instead, I’ve chosen to devote much of my (almost!) retirement and a substantial chunk of my pension on doing things I enjoy – reading, research and writing.
Does this make me selfish at seventy? Undoubtedly! Will it stain my immortal soul, assuming I have one? I’m less sure. I’m inclined to the view that life is for enjoying, provided that the enjoyment doesn’t harm others or our planet. After all, Advices and Queries tells us that we should live adventurously, which is exactly what I’m doing.
So I find myself somewhat at odds with Samuel Bagster and his family. Their biblical selections are inspiring and thought provoking, but maybe they direct us a little too strongly away from living life to the full. What do you think, friends?
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Forty-Three Newsletter • Number 508 • August 2021
Oxford Friends Meeting
43 St Giles, Oxford OX1 3LW